Current Mood: Blessed and Lazy.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I am (almost) a quarter of a century old; when put that way, it sounds rather ancient, but I'm not feeling particularly ancient at this moment.
We just started a new Beth Moore bible study at church and I am very excited. I hadn't been to bible study consistently since Spring(!?) and it is feeling wonderful to be back among friends. Beth's studies always get me thinking which is probably a good thing. Feel free to skip my ramblings and just watch David's fun video at the bottom, I won't be offended in the least...Ross is at church this evening and I felt like using my sun-given energy to gather my thoughts from the day and for some unknown reason, to share them with you.
In the last week's homework, Beth gave us some practical advice on how to believe God (in the present-active-participle sense of the word). Despite that I have yet to actually do days 4-5 hw, just reading the 5 bold-print statements during discussion this morning got me pondering.
1. Faith is a quality of the fruit of the Spirit.
2. Faith comes through hearing the Word of God.
3. We can ask Christ to increase our faith.
4. Confess our unbelief to Christ and request His help to overcome it.
5. We can grow in faith.
Beth continually reminds us that God is who He says He is and can do what He says He can do. I have absolutely no problem believing this. I am quite certain that God is greater than I could possibly fathom in every aspect of His existence. I know that through His mercy and grace every day I receive blessings I will never deserve and avoid consequences that I do deserve.
What I allowed to creep into the forefront this afternoon is a more honest realization of how I continually semi-subconsciously exert my will to fight against developing a more verb-ish sense of belief in God.
I am very blessed. I am in love with my husband and he loves me and is a great provider. We have a perfect and delightful child who brings me joy every day. I have amazing parents who I'm proud to say are brave enough to step out of their comfortable lives and spend their time and money sharing God's love in the Dominican on a regular basis while still finding time to care about my silly, insignificant problems and pray for me every day. I have a sister who finds the time and energy amidst her ever-busy schedule to share in my joys and spend time with me. I have an amazing older brother to look up to who loves his precious family so much and it is such a blessing to watch and learn from the five of them. Despite my less-than-outgoing nature, God has blessed me with a few very dear fellow 'homemaker' friends down here who brighten my weekdays on a regular basis. I could easily list my blessings for another hour, but I think you get the picture...
Sometimes, amidst all of this blessing, it is hard to ask God to increase my faith and to provide me with a more passionate-active belief in Him. I have faith, but I am also comfortable here. I like living my day to day, planning dinner, playing with David and greeting Ross at the door in the evening. I do not feel that I struggle with faith, but because I do believe God is who He says He is, I sometimes struggle with fear. Fear that if I prayed for a more increased and active faith, He would give it to me. And what would that do to my current, comfortable existence? As I do spend time in the Word now and then, I fear that it just might involve stepping out of my comfort-zone. I am not completely opposed to that idea, I've left the safety and security of the known/present on occasions before and not regretted it- in my experience God's will and plans always turn out more rewarding than my own in the long run, but I just got comfortable here...
Brings to mind an old Newsboys song...
And back to the blog's real purpose, to share David with you.
Well, my little man is nearing the upper bound of normalcy for taking those first steps and is still refusing to take the plunge. Meanwhile his best friend Jada is literally running circles around him and giving him rides on his little car. David does have many special talents, but I have felt the need to remind him lately that he will eventually need to take some initiative and join the realm of the bipedal.
He has however learned to go down the stairs safely! Wowee! In the interest of time/computer space, this is just a little bit, but he did successfully make it down from the very top to the lower landing! I am a proud mom!
2 comments:
Awesome thoughts, Becky. Thanks for sharing this. I loved talking with you today & am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow my almost-quarter-of-a-century old friend! ha ha. :-)
A lovely change to hear what you're thinking about.
It seems to me the boundary between contentment with the present, and trust for God's future (whatever that may be) is tricky. It is good to be content with where you are now, God wants us to be... but also important to trust Him enough to take a plunge deeper, to ask Him for more faith, even if that means possibly 'upsetting the apple cart'. Sounds like a challenging bible study - keep at it!
Can't wait to see you sometime in the next couple of months!! Love and miss you!
Post a Comment